I am a happy person. I love people. I love happy people.

But there was a time in my life, about 3 years ago when I just couldn't find the happy. No matter how deep I looked, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't find it.

I had just had a baby, we moved in with my sister and her family of nine for 7 months. Hubs and I were going through some rocky times in our marriage. I had to work. Hubs couldn't find work. I was dependant on everyone for everything.

It was the lowest I have ever been in my life. I know now that I was depressed. Seriously depressed. I am writing this now, not because I want to relive that time in my life, but more because I can see how far I have come.


Alone.

Surrounded by people and yet
Alone.

Everyone cares. A little too much. Leaving me feeling
Alone.

No-one understands. Including me. Please, don't leave me
Alone.

Leave me
Alone.

I feel everything. I feel nothing.
Alone.

Everyone needs me. Nobody needs me.
Alone.

Curl up in a ball. To come out hurts. To stay, hurts. I don't want to be
Alone.

I can't think right. Irrational. And sad. And
Alone.

Is this feeling ever going to leave me
Alone?

I guess some battles are meant to be fought
Alone.